Whew, it’s been too long since I’ve blogged here. But I have returned. And the topic today is FWB relationships. Now if you are reading this and are thinking, “What the hell is an FWB relationship?” have no fear because I’m here to break it all down for you!
Okay, so let me start off today by defining what FWB is. Friends With Benefits. Basically it is two people (most of the time a really horny guy and a girl feeling somewhat similar). Both parties are either acquaintances or they have known each other for a while and are attracted to each other. An agreement is made between the two that says: We can go anywhere from 1st base to celebrating a home run while we both are single. Sounds pretty good right? Of course it does, but no feelings can get attached and it’s clearly not dating. It’s pretty simple when you think about it. All the sex either of you wants and no emotional ties or downsides of being in an actual relationship.
So, this is what a night off feels like? BRING IT OOONNNNN!!!! (again)
Now, I know I am definitely not a believer in successful FWB relationships. What is the goal of a relationship like this anyways? Is it to just get laid, to have fun, to get a date to the spring fling?? To me, this kind of relationships is stagnant and somewhat shallow and there is very little chance that it will progress to a full blown “let’s date and get married thing”. (Eh, to be more honest, a great deal of the people that get into these types of relationships are teens and our relationships may seem like they are going to last forever. But forever usually ends when we start heading off to college…)
Moving along, I think girls are more at a loss than guys are when it comes to catching feelings. Girls are more likely to get caught up if after having a night of “fun” with a guy and a week later, he’s out walking in the park, arm-in-arm with his new girlfriend. Who wouldn’t be sort of mad at that? In my opinion the FWB relationship was made by men, for men. Guys get pleased and then don’t have to hear the nag, nag, nag that comes along with being in a relationship. No staying up half the night talking about what your favorite movie is. No feeling compelled to spend money on dinner and movie dates. No having to sit through your girlfriend whining about how you should listen to her more and asking you does that dress make her ass look huge. Nothing. Just get your groove on and go on about your happy days. It’s the perfect invention, for men that is.
Too bad she didn't have anyone to tell her the sad truth... That yes, that dress cannot, in fact, handle your butt cheeks.
But is it really new? Nope. About a year and a half ago when I first heard this term, Friends With Benefits, my friend M and I were sitting at lunch and she complained about a guy (whose name I had heard many times before) and how she had slept with him the night before. I remember my first question being, “Uh, when did you and Dmitri start dating?” She looked up and just smiled, “We aren’t dating, we’re just friends with benefits.” Of course. This isn’t something new. People have been bed hopping with no strings attached for decades. The only thing different is that now, it’s got a name.
In my concluding opinion, are FWB relationships really for everyone? I don’t think so. There are some of us, both guys and girls who have strong hearts and can take “a night off” with somebody and the next day think nothing of it and move right along with our lives. Then on the flip side of the pillow, there are those of us, again I say both men and women, who can’t do it, which I would like to say, does include myself. And maybe that’s one of the reasons why I don’t believe FWB relationships can work. But that’s my way of seeing it, being a girl and observing what the usual outcome of being friends with benefits is. Sometimes I wonder if, generally speaking, can a relationship based only on physicality evolve into something more…?
Tae.
A Girl Named Tae. 